Recently, I played a card game called We’re Not Really Strangers (100% recommend, no ad). One of the questions I pulled was: Are you more scared of failure or success? My first thought was failure—probably like most people. But as I sat with the question, I realized the honest answer was success.
I’ve never been particularly afraid of failing. Every failure I’ve faced has felt like a redirection—a chance to learn, grow, and take a new path. But success? That feels different. It’s intimidating.
As I reflected and talked to others, I realized I’m not alone in this. Many of us, consciously or subconsciously, are more afraid of achieving our dreams than staying where we are. We hold ourselves back, choosing comfort or mediocrity over risk and potential.
But why?
Why are we so scared of success that we sabotage our own growth, staying in situations we don’t even like—sometimes ones we actively dislike? Is it the fear of stepping out of our comfort zone? Or something deeper? Why do I find myself settling for “good enough” instead of choosing what I truly want, even in small decisions like what to eat or where to sit in a park? Why do I hesitate to pick the best option, almost as if I’m saving it for later—or worse, feeling like I don’t deserve it at all?
Lately, I’ve been wondering if part of the fear is this: If I take the best option now, what will be left?
These questions have been on my mind for a while, especially as I’ve examined my long-held dream of traveling to Australia.
Postponing Dreams and My Journey to Australia
For years, traveling to Australia was at the top of my dream list. I had everything I needed to make it happen. Yet, something always held me back. I’d question: Is it the right time? Am I ready? Should I wait for some external sign to validate the decision?
Looking back, I see how I often postponed my dreams because of the weight of responsibility that came with pursuing them. As a model, I traveled to destinations where work opportunities took me. It was easy—the decisions weren’t really mine. If something didn’t work out, it wasn’t entirely on me.
But when it came to Australia—a place I wanted to go purely for myself—the choice felt overwhelming.
For a long time, I clung to the idea that Australia was my “ultimate option.” It became this dream I could hold onto. If life wasn’t going well, I could always go to Australia, and everything would magically fall into place. But then came the fear: What if it didn’t? What if this dream I’ve built up in my mind doesn’t live up to my expectations? That fear kept me stuck.
Taking the Step
Eventually, I decided enough was enough. I applied for a work-and-holiday visa. But even then, doubts came in. Was this the right decision? Would it work out? When the visa process hit a snag, I started thinking: Is this a sign? Should I just give up?
It took a little push from my mum (thank you, mum) to keep going. When the visa was finally approved, I faced another challenge: booking the flight. That single step felt huge and impossible.
I envisioned myself going to Byron Bay, a surf-and-yoga town I’d dreamed of for years. But when my original plans fell through, I was paralyzed by uncertainty.
Luckily, my amazing friend Tiffany invited me to stay with her in Adelaide. That invitation gave me the courage to take the first step. A week later, I was in Australia.
Even then, it felt too easy, like I hadn’t “earned” it. I convinced myself I needed to work for it—literally. So, I decided to start with farm work, thinking it would justify my dream. Spoiler alert: it was miserable.
Sitting on that farm, I realized how often I’ve made decisions based on what I think I should do instead of what I truly want.
What This Taught Me: Stop Waiting to Feel ‘Deserving’
Here’s what I’ve learned: We don’t need to “earn” our dreams. We don’t need to prove to ourselves, or anyone else, that we’ve worked hard enough or deserve success. If something excites us, if it lights us up, that’s reason enough to go after it.
Today, I’m taking the train to Sydney, and from there, I’ll head to Byron Bay. I don’t know if it will be everything I imagined. I don’t even know if it will be a success or a failure. But I’m done sabotaging myself.
Why We Fear Success
Reflecting on my journey, I see how the fear of success held me back. Success means stepping into the unknown, taking responsibility for our choices, and accepting that our dreams might not look exactly as we imagined. It also means letting go of excuses and leaving behind the safety nets that keep us comfortable.
It’s easy to look at others and think they have it all figured out. I know some people see me as fearless and always ready for adventure. But here’s the truth: we all have fears, struggles, and doubts. Nothing is as perfect as it seems on social media or at first glance.
So, if you’re holding back on a dream, I invite you to ask yourself: What would happen if you gave yourself permission to pursue what truly excites you—not because you’ve earned it, but simply because you deserve a life that feels alive?
